Ever hear the saying “The Family That Pray Together, Stay Together”
One question that comes up in Christian relationships often is whether Christian couples should pray together.
On the one hand, praying is a very intimate practice, and there is no Biblical directive for husbands and wives to pray together.
On the other hand, it can be a relationship-bolstering practice capable of bringing couples closer together on a spiritual level.
Should Christian couples pray together?
The answer is yes—praying together for Christian couples builds intimacy and trust, encourages understanding, and wards off any brewing domestic conflict by fostering camaraderie and a Christian spirit. Praying together is a positive practice, whether it is done out loud or in silence.
It may seem unnerving to pray with your significant other at first if you have never done it before, especially if you’re accustomed to solitary prayer.
Keep reading to find out more about how praying together as a couple can ultimately make you a stronger and happier Christian.
Reasons That Christian Couples Should Pray Together
There are many good reasons why a Christian couple might decide to take up a practice of praying together.
Here are some of the potential benefits:
- Together builds intimacy: Because prayer is one of the most intimate and spiritual things you can do as an individual, doing it with your soulmate or spouse can help foster more profound levels of intimacy in other aspects of your life together as well. The more comfortable you are sharing the most private aspects of your life with your significant other, the more intimate your bond becomes.
- Praying together builds trust: Praying in front of another person brings them into your deepest confidence, and once you’ve established a habit of praying together with your significant other, this can help develop a strong sense of trust when that confidence is not betrayed to others. This also helps you to build trust and a positive relationship with God, both apart and together.
- It allows you to air grievances: It can be a humbling thing to hear your significant other’s worst fears and confessions laid before the feet of God, and hearing these concerns straight from their mouth can be a great way to understand your significant other better on a spiritual level. Knowing what they wrestle with spiritually gives you a heads-up in helping them in their battle.
- It wards off domestic conflict: Like sleeping in the same bed or eating meals at the same table, praying together daily not only makes the marital bond stronger, it helps establish positive, affectionate daily routines that prevent resentment from building into nagging or bickering behaviors.
- Praying together acts as a means of spiritual encouragement. It can be easy to get out of the habit of communicating with God when mundane matters such as friendships, careers, or money seem overwhelming, but setting a routine to do so as part of a couple can help reinforce your commitment to Christianity through daily practice.
- Praying together strengthens your bond with God. Marriage is a holy bond ordained by God, but praying together as a couple is a great way to feel closer to God as individuals, too. The more you interact with God in your day to day activities, the richer your spiritual life grows.
Praying together might seem odd at first, especially if you grew up in a household where it wasn’t done, but trying to do it at least a few times a week can make serious strides towards bringing you and your significant other closer as a Christian couple.
Should Christian Couples Always Pray Together?
It is a good idea to schedule a time to pray together as a couple, but Christian couples don’t always need to pray together.
For example, if one member of a Christian couple seeks guidance from God on their interactions with their spouse, they may prefer to keep that conversation with God private.
There are many conversations between a person and God that are best kept one-on-one.
Praying both alone and together allows a Christian couple to develop their faith both as a marital unit and as individuals with their own spiritual journeys.
While some couples may choose to do the majority of their prayer together, there is nothing wrong with choosing to pray alone as well.
In Matthew 6:5, the Bible has this to say about praying alone:
And when you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites
are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and
in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men.
Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
The main trap to avoid when praying as a couple is the trap of ego and pride.
Make sure that you don’t end up bragging to your friends at church about how spiritually connected you and your significant other as a couple because you pray together every day.
By doing so, you miss the point of daily couple’s prayer in the first place.
Praying together should not be done as a means to raise one’s social standing in the church hierarchy, to impress clergy, or to appease your significant other—it should be done out of a genuine desire for spiritual connection.
When you’re deciding to start a practice of praying together as a Christian couple, analyze your goals and see what your motivations for starting this practice are.
After all, you want your prayer together to evolve into a deep spiritual habit, rather than lip service for the sake of appearances.
How Should Christian Couples Pray Together?
How Christian couples choose to pray together depends on the individual couple, as there are no hard and fast rules about how it should be done.
Many couples pray together over meals or have regularly scheduled Bible studies together, incorporating both scripture and prayer into their home spiritual practices as a couple.
Couples can choose to pray together out loud or in silence, depending on how comfortable they are sharing their thoughts.
Praying in silence can be less unnerving and is a better option for those who are self-conscious or shy, but praying out loud allows your significant other to know your thoughts, which helps with communication.
It comes down to personal preferences, but praying together out loud can be empowering as a Christian couple.
Another way to increase connection as a couple during prayer is to hold hands while praying.
In many areas of public life outside of the church, it is not seen as appropriate to pray out loud, but in a Christian home, it can be liberating to practice your faith as freely as you choose. Speaking your mind to both God and your significant other is a liberating experience.
What Does the Bible Say About Christian Couples Praying Together?
There are no specific Biblical edicts that command a husband and wife to pray together. However, there are several verses from Romans to Thessalonians commanding Christians to pray—unceasingly, for their enemies and the salvation of the destitute.
So whether you pray along with your significant other together as a couple, prayer should still be incorporated into your daily life for you to have a healthy relationship with God.
Praying Together Makes You Stronger as a Couple and a Family
Involving your spouse or significant other in your daily spiritual practice can be a powerful bonding experience.
Especially for Christian couples who intend to raise children in a Christian household, establishing a practice of praying together early can help solidify the family unit for generations to come.
Praying in front of your children is a very powerful learning tool.
Introducing your children to prayer at a early age is a memory that will stay with them for a lifetime.