If you’re married in a relationship, or single, love can be complicated.
Love will pull or push you out of your comfort zone.
Love is natural to ebb.
While this is very dependent on the personality and commitment of the individuals involved, the answer is Yes, it is possible to love the same person twice, even multiple times.
Maybe you have loved multiple people throughout your lifetime, or maybe you are unsure of your feelings.
Regardless of where you are currently in your love life, it is a common belief that we are unable to fall back in love with someone.
Can you love the same person twice?
Over the course of our life, we often fall in love with the same person over and over again. However, it is also common to come back to someone you once loved and fall in love with them for a second time.
It is important also to make the distinction between falling in love with the same person twice and never falling out of love with that person.
In this article, we will talk more about how and why you could fall in love with the same person twice and how to make the distinction between this and consistently being in love with the person you are with.
Falling in Love with the Same Person
For those who have been married for much of their lifetimes, it is common to hear them say that they have fallen in love with their partner multiple times. As we grow and change over our lives and our roles change, it is common to fall in love over and over again with the same person.
This is a concept that is especially common with partners who are growing through different life stages together. Going from seeing your partners as a parent, grandparent, educator, the list goes on. All of our roles change and adapt over the course of our lives which brings about change in the way we love one another.
This is also common after having issues within a relationship or overcoming an obstacle. Many couples feel they need to fall back in love with one another after a traumatic event or something that has changed their lives in one way or another. There are many ways to go about falling back in love with your partner.
How to Fall Back in Love with your Partner
Avoid looking at your partner critically (consider your own faults).
Do not focus only on the negatives, the mistakes, and the things you dislike about your partner. This also comes back to not projecting past traumas or emotions onto your partners.
It is a common mistake to expect your partner to hurt you in ways you’ve been hurt in the past, but it is important not to bring past issues into the present.
In addition, always treat your partner with kindness.
If you always focus on kindness, you will continue being able to nurture the love you have for one another. Being loving and generous with one another shows how much you care and maintains a positive mindset around your relationship. This may or may not take concentrated effort, but believe me, the dividends are well worth it.
When you lead with kindness, you are also able to reflect on what you love most about your partner and how they add to your life. Whenever you are having a tough time, thinking about what you love about your partner, how they add meaning to your life, and how meaningful your relationship is can pull you out of a negative thought pattern.
While we’re on the subject of what you love about your mate, it’s not a bad idea to surprise her/him with an unexpected thoughtful gift (not money).
“Somebody’s about to get lucky“
Remember what is important to you in your relationship and be sure you are giving and receiving what you need every single day. And above that, communicate!
Share openly about your life. Think about all of the things you share with someone when you are first falling in love with them.
It’s a common thing to allow that to fade as we get more established in our relationship.
Continue sharing your life and feelings with one another and you will continue seeing your love grow. A huge part of this is also engaging with your own interests as well as your partner’s interests.
You do not have to agree on everything nor have the same interests. But you do have to respect one another’s interests and engage with them.
I need to Reiterate here, so listen up
It is a very good thing to open up discussions that lead to who each of you are including your core needs or desires.
However, revealing your innermost self makes you vulnerable to criticism, jokes, and very hurtful comments.
So when it becomes her/his turn remember that.
If the trust to share these personal innermost desires or thoughts is not valued, the bond can become jeopardized and lost.
Finally, find a healthy way to vent when you are feeling down or have something negative to discuss.
It is not about ignoring the negative but finding ways to effectively communicate the negative so that nobody feels attacked or wronged.
Loving the Same Person Twice
This is very different from the alternative of falling back in love with someone after time apart or even after being in a failed relationship with them. It is more common than many think that people will take time apart from one another before coming back together and having a successful relationship.
Oftentimes for whatever reason, people will end a relationship even though they are in love with the person and eventually find their way back to this person. In between they may have many relationships and feel as though they are not in love with their previous partner anymore. This does not mean however that they can never love that person again.
There is also a distinction between falling back in love with someone and simply always loving them but just not realizing it. Often, we may feel like we fell back in love with someone when in reality maybe we never fell out of love with them! Regardless, this shows how resilient our hearts can be throughout all of the ups and downs of relationships.
How Do you Know if it’s Love?
Another critical distinction to make is if you really love the person or if you are simply comfortable, or filling space/time. It is common when we are lonely or bored to seek a relationship and often go back to someone we may have history with to fill the gap we are feeling.
However, it is important to realize that this may not be falling back in love with someone and alternatively could just be that you are not allowing yourself to be alone with your thoughts and feelings. Being able to identify the difference is critical and can often be done by looking at your intentions.
Are you calling your partner because you feel like you should/have to or because you want to and genuinely want to talk to them? When you are doing little things together do you feel truly satisfied and happy? Answering questions like these can tell you if you are doing just enough to keep things afloat, or if you are deeply invested in your loving relationship.
A Couple Final Thoughts
1st thought: Remember your break-up didn’t just involve the two of you. there are countless others who are aware of the situation.
Remember your family and friends that tried bringing comfort or to console each of you. So, be prepared to suck it up and admit you’re wrong if need be.
2nd thought: Do Not, I Repeat … Do Not get caught up in the BLAME GAME. NO MATTER WHAT FORGIVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVE!!!
Make Forgiveness a new lifestyle.
If you are reading this, you may be questioning your feelings towards somebody in your life. If you are in a long-term relationship and are feeling shifts, it may be that you are going through a rough spot or you/your partners role is changing. This may mean that you need to return to kindness and spice things up in your relationship in order to fall in love all over again.
Remember that as you grow as an individual, your relationships need to grow with you. Oftentimes they will shift and change and that’s ok! Try not to be resistant and instead return to the appreciation you have for your significant other in your life. If you feel you are falling back in love with someone who may be from your past, there are a few different options.
Maybe you never fell out of love with them or maybe you are coming back to one another, either way, this is not uncommon, and it is absolutely possible that you are falling in love with the same person for a second time. Just be conscious of your intentions to be sure you are not simply filling a void because you are lonely or bored in your current life.