Another way of asking this is “should a Christian couple kiss before marriage”.

We always have a choice.

Of course, a Christian couple can kiss before marriage. Actually, when you think about it, Christians can do pretty much anything they want just like anyone else.

We all have choices and make decisions about everything in life-based on our value system. The difference between a Christian’s and a non-believer’s choice is the wisdom and desire to seek God’s Word concerning the matter.

If your commitment to each other and God brings you to a discussion of “NO KISSING UNTIL MARRIAGE,” leave no stone unturned in discussing this. This should be completely agreed upon by both parties.

Dying to self (denying fleshly desires) will most likely be your greatest challenge. What do I mean by that? The spiritual discipline to deny yourself physical pleasure for a greater cause.

Your age group should also be considered. It’s no secret that young adults inter temptations of sex more often than older adults. Why? Because the older, the more experience of avoiding compromising situations.

The challenges in making such a decision will be great.

Not only from the others you identify with but also from your own fleshly desires and weaknesses and undealt with thought patterns.

I say others because once this has been shared with your circle of friends, it’s just a matter of time before The World will become knowledgeable of your commitment.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but sooner or later they (Your Circle Of Friends) will began to voice their opinion.

“Man You Hitting That???

That’s when unsolicited advice will flood in. It’s all designed (by the enemy) to apply pressure to surrender to their (his) advice by belittling your decision.

Keep your discussions and agreed-upon commitment between yourselves.

DISCUSS IT WITH NO ONE!!! Its Your commitment to each other and God … Period.

To some, it may seem ludicrous to even discuss the subject of not kissing before marriage.

Please don’t misunderstand, I highly commend you for establishing such ethics in your relationship.

Especially since we live in a time when literally every sexual pleasure imaginable is being practiced before marriage?

Of course that may be why this question is even up for discussion.

So, Should Christians be held to a higher standard?

It actually seems that there are no restrictions in courtship by todays worldly (void of God’s principles) standards.

There are books that actually give advice on how long to withhold sex not to mention kissing before yielding to the temptation. So here we are discussing abstaining from kissing.

No one likes restrictions or disciplines. However boundaries are very necessary.


Every kiss has an intent.

Kissing is The gateway to sex … PERIOD!!!


A relationship without perimeters is a relationship without pre-marriedal restrictions

So we’re back to the issue of should Christians Kiss before marriage???

Also if kissing is permitted what are the restraints?? How far is OK?? Who decides??

Another issue that needs to be discussed is this, What if there has been kissing of any kind previous to the discussion, how do we curtail or cease that activity in order to embark on the newly established standard of “No Kissing”

1. Who’s the spiritually strongest in the relationship?

2. Who or what determined that?

3. Was it a mutual agreement or was it self-appointed?

4. Is this a joint effort or is there always that one who knows when to pull back or things are going a bit too far.

Please avoid the “I will if you will” scenario, you will not be proud of the outcome.

The fact that you’re willing to discuss a non-kissing policy relationship at all reflects your awareness of its pitfalls.

The purpose of a committed relationship is to get to know the other person as well as yourself (especially yourself). There are so many more things that would be beneficial to learn about each other than kissing.

Sure, kissing is important, and it’s high on the list of a man’s/woman fantasies of pleasures. However, like anything else, not just good but GREAT Kissing can be taught or learned in most cases, with patience on both behalf. And allow me to add this, please. Because you deemed yourself a good kisser in the past, it does not qualify you as a good kisser today. Besides, being a good kisser is not the goal; being a great kisser is the goal … at the decided time.

Like anything else in a marriage, great kissing requires openness, trust, honesty, and patience and is a lot of fun.

You’ve got more important things to learn about her and really about him.

Since we’re talking about kissing let’s stick with that on this post.

Here’s what I really think about Kissing before marriage

Most of what I have to say is directed to the male of the relationship. Why? because the male is the lead, head (because God said so) and the burden is on his shoulder whether you want to accept or believe it or not.

Displaying spiritual strength now, prior to being the husband will establish your acceptance of the position as a husband.

This is an extremely controversial topic. The fact that you are willing to set ethics, standards, and perimeters into your relationship raises the bar to unparalleled standards.

Also I would like to point out that my thoughts an opinions are quite different now than when I was much younger and not a Christian.

I am very ashamed to say that at one time I had three things on my mind …. Food, Sport and Sex, and more SEX(Wash, Rinse, and Repeat).

Now that I have God and a few years of experience with life, I’ve gotten more mature in my thinking. I have a greater understanding of selfishness, manipulation, and disrespect.

I personally think that if a couple can agree to discipline themselves to a “No Kissing Before Marriage” policy my hats off to both of them, especially the man. Why am I so impressed with the man?

It’s simple, I am a man so I know what a huge temptation a woman’s body presents to a man.

Literally everything about the woman’s body is a stimulant. The younger a man is the more out of control he’s likely to be without the disciplines of the Holy Spirit.

I cannot begin to explain the relentless thoughts or images that flash before men once attracted to a woman. (Very Disrespectful Thoughts)

HOLD ON, wait before you crucify me …. “

Holiness is a process, and as you travel the journey of life many temptations come our way. Resistance is developed over time and with experience.

We all started the journey of Christianity on milk.

Until we became aware of the tricks and snare of the enemy we fell prey to many set-ups

Most people looking for or at least entertaining the idea of being open for a spouse have prayed about it. And in most cases know what they want in a spouse.

Some have been receptive for several years (unfortunately). They have been willing to hold on for what they want.

These men and women of God are serious and committed in their faith.

I’m not talking about perfect people. I’m talking about individuals who have struggled and cried and spent long sleepless nights fighting off thoughts of giving in to formication, more abuse, and loneliness.

Once we become a child of God we are no longer alone.

One of the worse feelings there are is loneliness.

Having a nice home doesn’t drive loneliness away. Having a couple of nice cars is not a cure. Not even being Tall, Dark, and Handsome or just Drop Dead Georgios is a match for loneliness.

Nothing compares to loving and being loved. Nothing is more desired than compatible companionship. No matter how many times we have struck out at attempts of finding love, we still want it. And justifiably so, because LOVE NEVER FAILS.

There’s no better feeling than the warm secure feeling of being in LOVE

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Pray together as well as separately

reassure each other your trust in each other

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Continue to refrain from kissing – You have ventured into an area few dare.

Show her/him respect like no one else ever has … SHOW THEM LOVE

Discuss everything concerning intimacy …. EVERYTHING!!!! Yeah, that too (it prevents later disappointments).

Receive counseling and accountability from an Elder or Pastor of your church

I want to close this post with a few of my all-time favorite Love Songs … and never, never give up on love … NEVER!!

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