Can A Christian Couple Kiss Before Marriage?

Another way of asking this is “should a Christian couple kiss before marriage”.

We always have a choice.

Of course, a Christian couple can kiss before marriage. Actually, when you think about it, Christians can do pretty much anything they want just like anyone else.

We all have choices and make decisions about everything in life-based on our value system. The difference between a Christian’s and a non-believer’s choice is the wisdom and desire to seek God’s Word concerning the matter.

If your commitment to each other and God brings you to a discussion of “NO KISSING UNTIL MARRIAGE,” leave no stone unturned in discussing this. This should be completely agreed upon by both parties.

Dying to self (denying fleshly desires) will most likely be your greatest challenge. What do I mean by that? The spiritual discipline to deny yourself physical pleasure for a greater cause.

Your age group should also be considered. It’s no secret that young adults inter temptations of sex more often than older adults. Why? Because the older, the more experience of avoiding compromising situations.

The challenges in making such a decision will be great.

Not only from the others you identify with but also from your own fleshly desires and weaknesses and undealt with thought patterns.

I say others because once this has been shared with your circle of friends, it’s just a matter of time before The World will become knowledgeable of your commitment.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but sooner or later they (Your Circle Of Friends) will began to voice their opinion.

“Man You Hitting That???

That’s when unsolicited advice will flood in. It’s all designed (by the enemy) to apply pressure to surrender to their (his) advice by belittling your decision.

Keep your discussions and agreed-upon commitment between yourselves.

DISCUSS IT WITH NO ONE!!! Its Your commitment to each other and God … Period.

To some, it may seem ludicrous to even discuss the subject of not kissing before marriage.

Please don’t misunderstand, I highly commend you for establishing such ethics in your relationship.

Especially since we live in a time when literally every sexual pleasure imaginable is being practiced before marriage?

Of course that may be why this question is even up for discussion.

So, Should Christians be held to a higher standard?

It actually seems that there are no restrictions in courtship by todays worldly (void of God’s principles) standards.

There are books that actually give advice on how long to withhold sex not to mention kissing before yielding to the temptation. So here we are discussing abstaining from kissing.

No one likes restrictions or disciplines. However boundaries are very necessary.

Every kiss has an intent.

Kissing is The gateway to sex … PERIOD!!!

A relationship without perimeters is a relationship without pre-marriedal restrictions

So we’re back to the issue of should Christians Kiss before marriage???

Also if kissing is permitted what are the restraints?? How far is OK?? Who decides??

Another issue that needs to be discussed is this, What if there has been kissing of any kind previous to the discussion, how do we curtail or cease that activity in order to embark on the newly established standard of “No Kissing”

1. Who’s the spiritually strongest in the relationship?

2. Who or what determined that?

3. Was it a mutual agreement or was it self-appointed?

4. Is this a joint effort or is there always that one who knows when to pull back or things are going a bit too far.

Please avoid the “I will if you will” scenario, you will not be proud of the outcome.

The fact that you’re willing to discuss a non-kissing policy relationship at all reflects your awareness of its pitfalls.

The purpose of a committed relationship is to get to know the other person as well as yourself (especially yourself). There are so many more things that would be beneficial to learn about each other than kissing.

Sure, kissing is important, and it’s high on the list of a man’s/woman fantasies of pleasures. However, like anything else, not just good but GREAT Kissing can be taught or learned in most cases, with patience on both behalf. And allow me to add this, please. Because you deemed yourself a good kisser in the past, it does not qualify you as a good kisser today. Besides, being a good kisser is not the goal; being a great kisser is the goal … at the decided time.

Like anything else in a marriage, great kissing requires openness, trust, honesty, and patience and is a lot of fun.

You’ve got more important things to learn about her and really about him.

Since we’re talking about kissing let’s stick with that on this post.

Here’s what I really think about Kissing before marriage

Most of what I have to say is directed to the male of the relationship. Why? because the male is the lead, head (because God said so) and the burden is on his shoulder whether you want to accept or believe it or not.

Displaying spiritual strength now, prior to being the husband will establish your acceptance of the position as a husband.

This is an extremely controversial topic. The fact that you are willing to set ethics, standards, and perimeters into your relationship raises the bar to unparalleled standards.

Also I would like to point out that my thoughts an opinions are quite different now than when I was much younger and not a Christian.

I am very ashamed to say that at one time I had three things on my mind …. Food, Sport and Sex, and more SEX(Wash, Rinse, and Repeat).

Now that I have God and a few years of experience with life, I’ve gotten more mature in my thinking. I have a greater understanding of selfishness, manipulation, and disrespect.

I personally think that if a couple can agree to discipline themselves to a “No Kissing Before Marriage” policy my hats off to both of them, especially the man. Why am I so impressed with the man?

It’s simple, I am a man so I know what a huge temptation a woman’s body presents to a man.

Literally everything about the woman’s body is a stimulant. The younger a man is the more out of control he’s likely to be without the disciplines of the Holy Spirit.

I cannot begin to explain the relentless thoughts or images that flash before men once attracted to a woman. (Very Disrespectful Thoughts)

HOLD ON, wait before you crucify me …. “

Holiness is a process, and as you travel the journey of life many temptations come our way. Resistance is developed over time and with experience.

We all started the journey of Christianity on milk.

Until we became aware of the tricks and snare of the enemy we fell prey to many set-ups

Most people looking for or at least entertaining the idea of being open for a spouse have prayed about it. And in most cases know what they want in a spouse.

Some have been receptive for several years (unfortunately). They have been willing to hold on for what they want.

These men and women of God are serious and committed in their faith.

I’m not talking about perfect people. I’m talking about individuals who have struggled and cried and spent long sleepless nights fighting off thoughts of giving in to formication, more abuse, and loneliness.

Once we become a child of God we are no longer alone.

One of the worse feelings there are is loneliness.

Having a nice home doesn’t drive loneliness away. Having a couple of nice cars is not a cure. Not even being Tall, Dark, and Handsome or just Drop Dead Georgios is a match for loneliness.

Nothing compares to loving and being loved. Nothing is more desired than compatible companionship. No matter how many times we have struck out at attempts of finding love, we still want it. And justifiably so, because LOVE NEVER FAILS.

There’s no better feeling than the warm secure feeling of being in LOVE

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Pray together as well as separately

reassure each other your trust in each other

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Continue to refrain from kissing – You have ventured into an area few dare.

Show her/him respect like no one else ever has … SHOW THEM LOVE

Discuss everything concerning intimacy …. EVERYTHING!!!! Yeah, that too (it prevents later disappointments).

Receive counseling and accountability from an Elder or Pastor of your church

I want to close this post with a few of my all-time favorite Love Songs … and never, never give up on love … NEVER!!

Should Christian Couples Pray Together?



Ever hear the saying “The Family That Pray Together, Stay Together”

One question that comes up in Christian relationships often is whether Christian couples should pray together.

On the one hand, praying is a very intimate practice, and there is no Biblical directive for husbands and wives to pray together.

On the other hand, it can be a relationship-bolstering practice capable of bringing couples closer together on a spiritual level.

Should Christian couples pray together?

The answer is yes—praying together for Christian couples builds intimacy and trust, encourages understanding, and wards off any brewing domestic conflict by fostering camaraderie and a Christian spirit. Praying together is a positive practice, whether it is done out loud or in silence.   

It may seem unnerving to pray with your significant other at first if you have never done it before, especially if you’re accustomed to solitary prayer.

Keep reading to find out more about how praying together as a couple can ultimately make you a stronger and happier Christian. 

Reasons That Christian Couples Should Pray Together

There are many good reasons why a Christian couple might decide to take up a practice of praying together.

Here are some of the potential benefits: 

  • Together builds intimacy: Because prayer is one of the most intimate and spiritual things you can do as an individual, doing it with your soulmate or spouse can help foster more profound levels of intimacy in other aspects of your life together as well. The more comfortable you are sharing the most private aspects of your life with your significant other, the more intimate your bond becomes.
  • Praying together builds trust: Praying in front of another person brings them into your deepest confidence, and once you’ve established a habit of praying together with your significant other, this can help develop a strong sense of trust when that confidence is not betrayed to others. This also helps you to build trust and a positive relationship with God, both apart and together.
  • It allows you to air grievances: It can be a humbling thing to hear your significant other’s worst fears and confessions laid before the feet of God, and hearing these concerns straight from their mouth can be a great way to understand your significant other better on a spiritual level. Knowing what they wrestle with spiritually gives you a heads-up in helping them in their battle.
  • It wards off domestic conflict: Like sleeping in the same bed or eating meals at the same table, praying together daily not only makes the marital bond stronger, it helps establish positive, affectionate daily routines that prevent resentment from building into nagging or bickering behaviors.
  • Praying together acts as a means of spiritual encouragement. It can be easy to get out of the habit of communicating with God when mundane matters such as friendships, careers, or money seem overwhelming, but setting a routine to do so as part of a couple can help reinforce your commitment to Christianity through daily practice.
  • Praying together strengthens your bond with God. Marriage is a holy bond ordained by God, but praying together as a couple is a great way to feel closer to God as individuals, too. The more you interact with God in your day to day activities, the richer your spiritual life grows. 

Praying together might seem odd at first, especially if you grew up in a household where it wasn’t done, but trying to do it at least a few times a week can make serious strides towards bringing you and your significant other closer as a Christian couple. 

Should Christian Couples Always Pray Together? 

It is a good idea to schedule a time to pray together as a couple, but Christian couples don’t always need to pray together.

For example, if one member of a Christian couple seeks guidance from God on their interactions with their spouse, they may prefer to keep that conversation with God private.

There are many conversations between a person and God that are best kept one-on-one. 

Praying both alone and together allows a Christian couple to develop their faith both as a marital unit and as individuals with their own spiritual journeys.

While some couples may choose to do the majority of their prayer together, there is nothing wrong with choosing to pray alone as well. 

In Matthew 6:5, the Bible has this to say about praying alone: 

And when you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites

are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and

in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men.

Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

The main trap to avoid when praying as a couple is the trap of ego and pride.

Make sure that you don’t end up bragging to your friends at church about how spiritually connected you and your significant other as a couple because you pray together every day.

By doing so, you miss the point of daily couple’s prayer in the first place. 

Praying together should not be done as a means to raise one’s social standing in the church hierarchy, to impress clergy, or to appease your significant other—it should be done out of a genuine desire for spiritual connection. 

When you’re deciding to start a practice of praying together as a Christian couple, analyze your goals and see what your motivations for starting this practice are.

After all, you want your prayer together to evolve into a deep spiritual habit, rather than lip service for the sake of appearances. 

How Should Christian Couples Pray Together?

How Christian couples choose to pray together depends on the individual couple, as there are no hard and fast rules about how it should be done.

Many couples pray together over meals or have regularly scheduled Bible studies together, incorporating both scripture and prayer into their home spiritual practices as a couple. 

Couples can choose to pray together out loud or in silence, depending on how comfortable they are sharing their thoughts.

Praying in silence can be less unnerving and is a better option for those who are self-conscious or shy, but praying out loud allows your significant other to know your thoughts, which helps with communication. 

It comes down to personal preferences, but praying together out loud can be empowering as a Christian couple.

Another way to increase connection as a couple during prayer is to hold hands while praying

In many areas of public life outside of the church, it is not seen as appropriate to pray out loud, but in a Christian home, it can be liberating to practice your faith as freely as you choose. Speaking your mind to both God and your significant other is a liberating experience.

What Does the Bible Say About Christian Couples Praying Together? 

There are no specific Biblical edicts that command a husband and wife to pray together. However, there are several verses from Romans to Thessalonians commanding Christians to pray—unceasingly, for their enemies and the salvation of the destitute. 

So whether you pray along with your significant other together as a couple, prayer should still be incorporated into your daily life for you to have a healthy relationship with God. 

Praying Together Makes You Stronger as a Couple and a Family

Involving your spouse or significant other in your daily spiritual practice can be a powerful bonding experience.

Especially for Christian couples who intend to raise children in a Christian household, establishing a practice of praying together early can help solidify the family unit for generations to come.

Praying in front of your children is a very powerful learning tool.

Introducing your children to prayer at a early age is a memory that will stay with them for a lifetime.


Does God Want Me to Get Back with My Ex?



So many marriages now days are facing divorce. In fact 39% of all marriages will end in divorce or annulment according to statics of 2019.

Many times, one or both of the partners are left clueless as to what they have done wrong for the marriage to fail.

Due to the lack of communication, many discussions end in unresolved issues. Being hurt, betrayed, or disappointed leads to unnecessary and held in anger.

This can actually cause more damage to the relationship and affect future communication.

Many times wrong decisions are made in haste due to these accumulative disappointments. Thus the argument for separation and ultimate divorce ensues.

Unfortunately, when it’s too late and the agreement to separate is agreed upon, as time goes by, and there’s time to rethink things, we wonder how did things get so out of control?

The thoughts of calling and offering apologies are entertained. But then pride gets in the way, and those thoughts are quickly suppress. However in a couple of days they return …..

Does God want me to get back with my ex?

If there was absolutely nothing wrong with your ex and you left simply because you were upset or angry with them, then God just might guide you back. However, if there was something else like adultery or abuse, then you may want to pray about it more! God sees abuse as an abomination, an offense against Himself and humanity.

Ultimately, the decision is up to you, and where you stand in your faith.

Actually where you stand in your faith should have been considered before the decision to separate

No one can tell you how to live your life no matter if you are married or divorced.

However, you can rest assured that if you are strong in your faith that you should always pray.

Before we go, any furthers, please take a listen to THIS.

Walk forward with love and compassion. If there is a chance that you can reconcile with your ex, then try and do so and keep the marriage alive.

There are many marriages that have survived some of the hardest times in their lives and have managed to restore the relationship and are still going strong. 


The foundation of your marriage is very important. How did you start out in your marriage? Were you both very strong in your faith chasing the WILL of GOD before being married?

Many times, marriages happen over “feelings” and “butterflies.” Marriages are not seen as their true source and unfortunately are taught as some fairy tale. Marriage is not like that. It takes a very strong understanding of self, of your partner, and your faith before actually going in to commit to one another. 

The Vows

When you say those vows to your partner, did you really mean it? Is your faith really there, or are you just repeating words waiting for that honeymoon stage of the marriage?

Maybe you do not have a solid faith, or you have other beliefs. If you are seeking advice, seek it whole-heartedly. Pay attention to where your heart is guiding you; that is God’s voice. Nothing can be done halfway. If you are truly in love with your ex and you feel powerful with those vows, then stick to it. Lead with love and forgiveness. 

The Ex

Sometimes, we fall straight for the charming smile and the sweet words to find out that they were not what we signed up for.

In the Christian faith, divorce is within your right if there has been adultery committed. However, if they have committed adultery and are truly repentant, it is recommended to try and forgive your spouse. This can be very hard, but with prayer, dedication, and love it can be done. 

Truthfully Assess the Situation

If you are being abused in any way shape or form, you can pretty much count that your partner is not a true believer. God teaches us to love and be patient and kind.

Love is not greedy, mean, and controlling. Many times, we confuse love with “control” and “obedience” to our spouse. Some of us will also go through years of abuse in trying to save our marriage. However, if our marriage was and is not concreted with God, it is not considered a true marriage. 

Be Truthful to Yourself

Understand that, in no way, shape, or form, is it okay to go through abuse, nor is it okay to abuse yourself mentally and emotionally. It is so easy to fall into the pit of self-hatred when you separate from the person that you felt you were going to be with forever. You start telling yourself you are not good enough because you failed at your marriage. You begin self-destruction that, if not properly dealt with, can lead to long term damage. 

Separate Yourself

If you have not been fully alone long enough to dig deep in your soul, do some praying, and squeeze in some quiet time to really fully assess you, the problems, and do some praying on solutions, you should probably do that now. You cannot thoroughly work through a situation or yourself if you do not take the time to face things. Running away from it does not fix it. You will have to face it at some point. It’s time to pray and get God’s guidance.


Many times, marriages end because of the lack of solid communication. True communication is not going to feel good all the time. Communication is not to be founded in feelings but in truth and understanding. True listening is not listening physically but being able to place yourself in the other persons shoes to understand where they are. 

It is not going to be easy to talk about our most vulnerable parts of how our mind works. I have found that, in a marriage with a foundation, you will be able to talk about the deepest parts of yourself, and you will be able to get through. It takes practice, but it will get easier with time. 

Speak What’s on Your Heart

Your spouse is not a mind reader (SURPRISE!). They do not know what is in your head. Here is the tricky part, actually speaking what you want.

We, so many times, get caught up in “whatever you want” or “I don’t know” because we do not want to say something that the other person does not like or we do not want to disappoint our spouse.  Do not just say what you think they want to hear, but always speak with a sense of calm (as much as possible) and love. 


Harbored feelings and anger can be very nasty in relationships and can start a snowball effect of problems that can lead to divorce. We make future decisions based on anger, and we communicate in anger. Anything in between builds and it becomes an explosive event that can turn very dangerous. 

When they say, “never go to bed angry,” they mean it. If you are upset, talk about it. When you lay down at night, that should not be a hamster wheel of thoughts that you should be facing at night because as soon as you wake up in the morning, those same thoughts are there. 

Go Out of Your Way

It is important to go out of your way to show the other individual love, especially in hard times such as separation. These are the times to really get bare and if you want to stay with this individual, get ready to strip yourself down of everything. Find out what their love language is. Sometimes we can get so caught up in showing our partner the ways that WE perceive and feel the love that we forget that they view it differently. Strip yourself down and learn what your partner wants and needs. 


Your faith should always be first if that is where you stand. You and your partner should want to strive together to search the love and grace of God.

Then it is important to have you guys set as a second priority. Always make sure to make time for yourselves, to love one another, and to reconnect frequently.

No matter if you have children or not, make your marriage a priority. Continue building learning and hanging on with the help of prayer. 

Keep in Mind

There are some things to keep in mind when things have not gone the way that we want. We do not have to bury ourselves in a hole because we are horrendous people who do not deserve the Grace of God. When we do that, we tend to get off track of where we need to be and where God wants us to be. 


When you say your vows, keep in mind that you are marrying another human, who makes mistakes. Your faith is also a commitment. So no matter what you believe, be sure to reach down deep inside yourself, pray, do what you have to do to understand what it is you need and what your ex or spouse needs. If you were abused or anything of that sort, do not go back. It is not okay to be abused. 

Understanding Yourself

Many times, our individual selves do not understand everything about our own thoughts, feelings, and even triggers. It is important to learn those.

We cannot expect someone else to properly treat us if we do not know how to treat ourselves.

We are often on edge because we already have so much negative energy in our heads about things that really have no part in our relationship with our Faith or our marriage. This tends to cause friction in the relationships that are around us.

Listening more often than none, we feel ignored or not listened to on “anything.” In times like these, we have to be careful as we tend to give more power to words than what is needed.

Make sure to understand that listening with your heart, with compassion, and with love can make a bigger difference than listening with your physical ears.

Love Is The Ultimate Healing

I want to close this post with this YouTube Video

Can a Christian Wife Save Her Husband?



Anyone who has entered into marriage with someone who is not a believer, or they have become a believer after marriage while their partner has not, may wonder what the next step should be.

It’s no doubt a troubling situation for anyone who is a solid believer in Christ, so knowing how to handle your marriage the right way is imperative.

Can a Christian wife save her husband? NO!!! Neither can a Christian husband save his wife.

However …. A wife can help her husband become saved. The wife must remember that the husband may become a believer through her actions instead of her words.

The Christian wife should not spend her time trying to persuade her husband, but rather live a Godly lifestyle as an example. 

Ultimately, only Jesus has the power to save a person.

Knowing how to handle being married to a man who is not a believer certainly requires wisdom. And without saying the reverse is true also.

You want to help and save him, too, but going about it the wrong way can lead to a world of hurt for both of you.

How can a Christian wife possibly save her husband? We are sharing some wonderful tips and tricks as well as Bible verses to assist you.

First Things First – Marry A Fellow Believer

Now, we understand that sometimes this isn’t always the case for some marriages. Some people may come to the Lord after they have said the words “I do” when before the relationship, the two were nonbelievers. If this is the case for you, you can skip this section and go onto the next.

However, for those seeking a husband, the Bible is very clear on the type of man you should look for —

2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV states, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

This Bible verse is essentially saying that Christians should always seek out the company of other believers, especially in marriage. Spending your life with a nonbeliever will only hurdle your relationship with Jesus and put a dark cloud over your marriage. So, if possible,  try to find a fellow believer in Christ to marry.

Do not Get a Divorce

If you entered into a marriage with a nonbeliever or became a Christian after the marriage, you hope your husband will accept Christ.  If he continues to deny Christ, you might think that divorce is an option. After all, a Christian woman should be around a Christian husband, friends, and so forth. Is divorce the best choice? Are you better off leaving your husband for another Christian man?

The simple answer is no–you should not divorce your husband — even if he is a nonbeliever. The Bible is clear on the importance of marriage. In fact, 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 clearly says, 

“To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”

This is essentially saying that even though you are married to a nonbeliever, the sanctity of marriage should still be held. Corinthians was also clear to the married woman, though, stating in 1 Corinthians 7:15 ESV, 

“But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.”

Can a Christian Wife Change Her Husband?

A Christian wife can change her nonbeliever husband, but it might not be in the way she might think. A Christian wife will likely think that she needs to continually persuade her husband to accompany her to church or prayer, which he will likely decline. This is because — husband or not — nobody enjoys having religion forced upon them.

Aside from this, it is stated clearly in the Bible that we should never force our beliefs onto other individuals. Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV states 

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

This Bible verse makes it noticeably clear that we were only saved through Christ, and therefore, the nonbelieving husband can only be saved by Christ, too. Essentially — a Christian wife must have faith in God that He will save her nonbeliever husband. This can be a challenge, but putting your trust in God is part of the journey of being a Christian.

Does that mean you should sit back and wait for it to happen? Absolutely not. There are several things a Christian wife should do to help try and change her husband:

Release Your Husband to Christ

Since you are not capable of converting your husband to Christ, you must rely on God himself to work within him. Release your husband to Christ in prayer and have faith that God will work his wonders on your husband.

Interest Him in Your Actions, Not Your Words

The Bible is clear when it comes to converting people with words — it simply should not be done. Aside from that, in day to day life, actions always speak louder than words. The same is true when you are living with a nonbeliever and want to show them the gift that the Lord has given you — eternal life.

So how is this done? Perhaps your husband notices a change in you.  1 John 2:6 ESV states 

“Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” 

This means a lot of things, but overall patience, diligence, respect, and positive thinking are all parts of behaving more God-like. 

This does not mean you won’t still sin, though, as we are all still human. The point is to try and change your mentality and become more like Christ. For some, this may be a subtle change. Others may put down the alcohol or syringe in the replacement of a Bible. For others, it may mean cutting down on curse words or gossiping.

Change in your actions is the best way to try and change your nonbeliever husband.  

“Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”, says 1 Peter 3:1.2.

Pray for Him

Never underestimate the power of prayer. As said in Psalm 107:28-30 KJV

“Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven.”

Can You Love The Same Person Twice?



If you’re married in a relationship, or single, love can be complicated.

Love will pull or push you out of your comfort zone.

Love is natural to ebb.

While this is very dependent on the personality and commitment of the individuals involved, the answer is Yes, it is possible to love the same person twice, even multiple times.

Maybe you have loved multiple people throughout your lifetime, or maybe you are unsure of your feelings.

Regardless of where you are currently in your love life, it is a common belief that we are unable to fall back in love with someone. 

Can you love the same person twice?

Over the course of our life, we often fall in love with the same person over and over again. However, it is also common to come back to someone you once loved and fall in love with them for a second time. 

It is important also to make the distinction between falling in love with the same person twice and never falling out of love with that person.

In this article, we will talk more about how and why you could fall in love with the same person twice and how to make the distinction between this and consistently being in love with the person you are with. 

Falling in Love with the Same Person 

For those who have been married for much of their lifetimes, it is common to hear them say that they have fallen in love with their partner multiple times. As we grow and change over our lives and our roles change, it is common to fall in love over and over again with the same person. 

This is a concept that is especially common with partners who are growing through different life stages together. Going from seeing your partners as a parent, grandparent, educator, the list goes on. All of our roles change and adapt over the course of our lives which brings about change in the way we love one another. 

This is also common after having issues within a relationship or overcoming an obstacle. Many couples feel they need to fall back in love with one another after a traumatic event or something that has changed their lives in one way or another. There are many ways to go about falling back in love with your partner.

How to Fall Back in Love with your Partner

Avoid looking at your partner critically (consider your own faults).

Do not focus only on the negatives, the mistakes, and the things you dislike about your partner. This also comes back to not projecting past traumas or emotions onto your partners.

It is a common mistake to expect your partner to hurt you in ways you’ve been hurt in the past, but it is important not to bring past issues into the present.

In addition, always treat your partner with kindness.

If you always focus on kindness, you will continue being able to nurture the love you have for one another. Being loving and generous with one another shows how much you care and maintains a positive mindset around your relationship. This may or may not take concentrated effort, but believe me, the dividends are well worth it.

When you lead with kindness, you are also able to reflect on what you love most about your partner and how they add to your life. Whenever you are having a tough time, thinking about what you love about your partner, how they add meaning to your life, and how meaningful your relationship is can pull you out of a negative thought pattern. 

While we’re on the subject of what you love about your mate, it’s not a bad idea to surprise her/him with an unexpected thoughtful gift (not money).

Somebody’s about to get lucky

Remember what is important to you in your relationship and be sure you are giving and receiving what you need every single day. And above that, communicate!

Share openly about your life. Think about all of the things you share with someone when you are first falling in love with them.

It’s a common thing to allow that to fade as we get more established in our relationship.

Continue sharing your life and feelings with one another and you will continue seeing your love grow. A huge part of this is also engaging with your own interests as well as your partner’s interests.

You do not have to agree on everything nor have the same interests. But you do have to respect one another’s interests and engage with them. 

I need to Reiterate here, so listen up

There is also a distinction between falling back in love with someone and simply always loving them but just not realizing it. Often, we may feel like we fell back in love with someone when in reality maybe we never fell out of love with them! Regardless, this shows how resilient our hearts can be throughout all of the ups and downs of relationships. 

How Do you Know if it’s Love?

It is a very good thing to open up discussions that lead to who each of you are including your core needs or desires.

However, revealing your innermost self makes you vulnerable to criticism, jokes, and very hurtful comments.

So when it becomes her/his turn remember that.

If the trust to share these personal innermost desires or thoughts is not valued, the bond can become jeopardized and lost.

Finally, find a healthy way to vent when you are feeling down or have something negative to discuss.

It is not about ignoring the negative but finding ways to effectively communicate the negative so that nobody feels attacked or wronged. 

Loving the Same Person Twice

This is very different from the alternative of falling back in love with someone after time apart or even after being in a failed relationship with them. It is more common than many think that people will take time apart from one another before coming back together and having a successful relationship. 

Oftentimes for whatever reason, people will end a relationship even though they are in love with the person and eventually find their way back to this person. In between they may have many relationships and feel as though they are not in love with their previous partner anymore. This does not mean however that they can never love that person again. 

Another critical distinction to make is if you really love the person or if you are simply comfortable, or filling space/time. It is common when we are lonely or bored to seek a relationship and often go back to someone we may have history with to fill the gap we are feeling. 

However, it is important to realize that this may not be falling back in love with someone and alternatively could just be that you are not allowing yourself to be alone with your thoughts and feelings. Being able to identify the difference is critical and can often be done by looking at your intentions. 

Are you calling your partner because you feel like you should/have to or because you want to and genuinely want to talk to them? When you are doing little things together do you feel truly satisfied and happy? Answering questions like these can tell you if you are doing just enough to keep things afloat, or if you are deeply invested in your loving relationship. 

1st thought: Remember your break-up didn’t just involve the two of you. there are countless others who are aware of the situation.

Remember your family and friends that tried bringing comfort or to console each of you. So, be prepared to suck it up and admit you’re wrong if need be.

2nd thought: Do Not, I Repeat … Do Not get caught up in the BLAME GAME. NO MATTER WHAT FORGIVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVE!!!

Make Forgiveness a new lifestyle.

If you are reading this, you may be questioning your feelings towards somebody in your life. If you are in a long-term relationship and are feeling shifts, it may be that you are going through a rough spot or you/your partners role is changing. This may mean that you need to return to kindness and spice things up in your relationship in order to fall in love all over again. 

A Couple Final Thoughts 

Remember that as you grow as an individual, your relationships need to grow with you. Oftentimes they will shift and change and that’s ok! Try not to be resistant and instead return to the appreciation you have for your significant other in your life. If you feel you are falling back in love with someone who may be from your past, there are a few different options.

Maybe you never fell out of love with them or maybe you are coming back to one another, either way, this is not uncommon, and it is absolutely possible that you are falling in love with the same person for a second time. Just be conscious of your intentions to be sure you are not simply filling a void because you are lonely or bored in your current life.

Scroll to Top